Sharon R. Paavola

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Day 15 of 35

May 17, 2020 by admin 4 Comments

I started a journey, Wednesday, April 8 at 3:00 PM at Mission Valley in San Diego, California, hoping to relieve a darkness that’s clouded my life for decades. I entered with trepidation and doubt. I didn’t know anyone who had traveled through TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation).

My anxiety jumped to an 11 on my drive there and skyrocketed as I walked in the door. Wearing a mask and gloves heightened my fears. I hadn’t left my home since the “shelter in place” orders during the COVID pandemic, other than drive-bys to my daughter’s home. Now I was opening the door to a medical facility which had assured me PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) would be in place.

I checked in and was handed a clipboard with a depression scale test. (Get used to it, Sharon, you’ll fill one out everyday and two on Fridays.) The technician arrived to take me to the treatment room to sit in a big recliner). He prepared the machine ( I don’t really recall what occurred but I do know the psychologist held my hand). Terrified, my mind went back to my Electric Shock Therapy experiences years ago. Assured over and over, this was not the same mechanism as ECT, I relaxed a degree.

Then the psychiatrist walked in to do a technique called mapping. A machine over my brain was set to send signals to my fingers that the technician was noting. This procedure would give them the information to place the pulses correctly on my brain for the next 7 weeks.

After the mapping, my first treatment occurred. It felt like a mini-jack hammer pounding on my head (with ten second breaks) for 20 minutes. Oh, goodness, what have I gotten myself into? Would I be able to endure this day after day for weeks?

The first seven days were a challenge. Relief came over me when each treatment was over. Headaches occurred most days and at night, I would wake up multiple times. I wanted to be positive for my family and friends but I probably caused them more concern. I dreaded going in.

Yet, day eight, the intensity lessened, or was I becoming accustomed to the sensation? It didn’t matter; it was easier.

I could do this!

That’s my experience today, day 15. I have hope in this non-medication therapy for depression to lessen and lighten the dark cloud surrounding me.

Checkin for the next leg of my unusual trek during this crazy pandemic.

About Me

Sharon's passion to release women from their past, from depression, and from pain so they can move on to hope, freedom, and living in the present drives her to speak, write, and encourage whenever possible. Her openness allows women to identify with her own life experiences yet see where they, too can conquer their battles. She is devoted to her home life with husband, Eric and 2 Bichon mixes, PIerre and Stewart. She and Eric have 3 grown children and live in the San Diego, California area.

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Sharon's books

The Sound of Music Story: How A Beguiling Young Novice, A Handsome Austrian Captain, and Ten Singing von Trapp Children Inspired the Most Beloved Film of All Time
Morning's Refrain
Shadows of the White City
Dawn's Prelude
Veiled in Smoke
Forsaking All Others
Appointments with Heaven: The True Story of a Country Doctor's Healing Encounters with the Hereafter
Gentleman Jim
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Into the Wild
No Journey Too Far
The Last Thing He Told Me
My Name is Eva
Between Sisters
Summer Island
The Girl Who Could Breathe Under Water
The Record Keeper
The Bottoms
Call Your Daughter Home
The Girl Without a Name


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2022 Reading Challenge
Sharon has read 30 books toward her goal of 65 books.
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30 of 65 (46%)
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